"The Silence You Weren't Expecting: Why Meditation Isn't a Universal Remedy"

 

Meditation can be harmful. Meditation is not a panacea for mental distress.

Swami Vivekananda says meditation is not for the masses. Dhyana is for the chosen under a trained guru. Mediation is for spiritual attainment and not for mere mundane benefits.

It is a common practice among mental health practitioners to suggest meditation as a way of calming the agitating mind. Also, yoga teachers advocate meditation as a way of mind body wellbeing.  Meditation is recommended as a way for mindfulness.

Everybody in the gathering is advised to sit quiet for 20 minutes with eyes closed and ears open to a mild music or a mantra. Participants almost say they feel a sense of calm.

While it is true for the person at that time as a change from the taxing thoughts in the head, now recent research says that prolonged practice of meditation, forcing oneself to sitting quiet causes serious mental illness.

I have noticed in people who sit for meditation on a regular basis a sort of dullness on their face, they seemed to have lost the sense of humor in life, also they develop a sense of guilt. Some become eccentric in fulfilling their suppressed desires.

Research into meditation and mindfulness has found that while many benefit, a significant number of practitioners—ranging from 8% to 60% depending on the study—experience adverse or unwanted effects. 

Findings on the negative effects include:

• Psychological Distress: The most commonly reported issues are increased anxiety, panic attacks, and depressive symptoms.
• Dissociative Experiences: Some practitioners report depersonalisation (feeling detached from oneself) or derealization (feeling the world is unreal).
• Traumatic Re-experiencing: Meditation can sometimes trigger the sudden recall of forgotten traumatic memories or flashbacks, which can be highly destabilizing without clinical support.
• Cognitive and Somatic Issues: Reported effects include insomnia, dizziness, muscle pain, hallucinations, and confusion or disorientation.
• Social and Motivation Changes: Practitioners may experience social alienation, a "lack of life orientation," or a loss of motivation toward previously important personal and career goals.
• Functional Impairment: Approximately 9% to 10% of meditators report effects severe enough to interfere with their daily work or social life. 

The likelihood of experiencing these negative effects increases with certain factors:

• Intensive Practice: Those attending long, silent meditation retreats are more prone to functional impairment.
• Pre-existing Conditions: Individuals with a history of mental health symptoms or emotional distress in the 30 days prior to meditating are at higher risk.
• Inadequate Guidance: Practicing without a trained instructor may lead to worse outcomes. 

Swami Vivekananda’s caution

Swami Vivekananda did not caution against meditation itself—which he called the "nearest approach to spiritual life"—but rather against its unprepared or forced practice by the masses, especially when pursued without the necessary mental and moral foundation. Swami Vivekananda says meditation is not for the masses. Dhyana is for the chosen under a trained guru. Mediation is for spiritual attainment and not for mere mundane benefits.

The "Maddened Monkey" Mind: Swami Vivekananda frequently compared the human mind to a "maddened monkey" drunk on desire and stung by jealousy. He cautioned that trying to force such a mind into silence without first understanding its movements through gradual practice like Pratyahara (withdrawal) and Dharana (concentration) can lead to frustration or mental instability.

Caution Against Forced Meditation: Following the views of his guru, Sri Ramakrishna, he acknowledged that forcing meditation can sometimes lead to mental derangement or vanity.

Do you want to offload overthinking?

Do you want to tame your mind? Do you want to move away from menacing thoughts? Do you want to stop the chronic negative thinking? Do you want to offload overthinking?

Safe way to sanity. Neuro Linguistic Program has enough tools to give you peace of mind, say a RESOURCEFUL STATE of mind in NLP parlance, The tools of NLP have no side effect at all.

You can learn the tools of NLP for effective mindfulness.

In my 20 years of experience in guiding people to gaining mental health, I found NLP is handy and swift in giving mental strength.

VRanganathan, NLP Master Trainer & Coach
www.vrnlp.com

 

The Alien in the Office: How to Master the “Jagged Frontier” of Co-Intelligence

In the blink of an eye, AI moved from a "future tech" concept to a permanent resident in our browser tabs. But while most people are still treating it like a glorified search engine, Wharton professor Ethan Mollick argues that we are fundamentally misreading the moment.

In his 2024 book, Co-Intelligence, Mollick suggests that we shouldn't view AI as a tool, but as a partner—a "co-intelligence" that is brilliant, helpful, and occasionally quite weird.

1. Navigating the "Jagged Frontier"

The most important concept in Mollick’s book is the Jagged Frontier. Unlike traditional software, which has clear boundaries (it can either do a task or it can't), AI's capabilities are uneven.

• Inside the Frontier: Tasks AI can do better than most humans (writing a poem in the style of a 17th-century pirate, coding a basic app).
• Outside the Frontier: Tasks AI surprisingly fails at (basic logic puzzles, certain types of math, or factual accuracy).

The "frontier" is jagged because it’s hard to predict where AI will succeed and where it will "hallucinate." To master co-intelligence, you have to spend enough time with the AI to map out where that jagged edge lies for your specific job.

2. The Four Rules of Co-Intelligence

Mollick provides four guiding principles for surviving and thriving in this new era:

1. Always invite AI to the table: Don't just use it for big projects. Use it for the boring, the mundane, and the "just thinking" moments.
2. Be the "Human in the Loop": AI is a co-pilot, not an autopilot. It needs you to verify, edit, and provide the "soul" of the work.
3. Treat it like a person (but tell it what person to be): AI performs better when you give it a persona. Instead of "Write an email," try "You are a world-class negotiator writing a persuasive email."
4. Assume this is the worst AI you will ever use: This is a sobering thought. The technology is moving so fast that today’s "magic" will be tomorrow’s "clunker." If you don't learn to adapt now, you'll be left behind.

3. Centaurs vs. Cyborgs: How Do You Work?

Mollick identifies two distinct ways high-performers integrate AI into their workflow:

• The Centaur: Like the mythical creature, you have a clear division of labor. You do what humans are good at (strategy, empathy), and you hand off the rest to the AI (data analysis, drafting). You remain two distinct entities working together.
• The Cyborg: This is a deep integration. You and the AI are intertwined. You start a sentence, the AI finishes it; the AI suggests a thought, you refine it. The "work" is a seamless loop where it's hard to tell where the human ends and the machine begins.

4. Why AI is a "Reasoning Engine," Not a Library

One of the biggest corrections Mollick makes is that people use AI to find information (like Google). He argues we should use it to process information.

"AI is not a library; it’s a reasoning engine. It’s better at taking a 50-page document and finding the flaws in the logic than it is at telling you what happened in the news this morning."

The Big Takeaway

The future of work isn't "Human vs. AI." It’s "Human + AI vs. Human." Those who learn to dance with the "alien" intelligence—understanding its quirks, its brilliance, and its flaws—will be the ones who define the next decade of productivity.

The goal isn't to be replaced; it's to be unleashed.

Toxic Relationships

 

1. Introduction: What You’re Experiencing

Have you ever loved someone so deeply, only to feel emotionally drained, anxious, or unloved in return? That knot of confusion, exhaustion, and longing is real—and it’s not your fault. What you’re experiencing may be a toxic relationship—one that undermines your self-esteem, fosters self-doubt, and keeps you stuck in emotional turmoil.

2. What Is a Toxic Relationship?

In simple terms, a toxic relationship occurs when negative patterns—like manipulation, criticism, or emotional abuse—consistently outweigh trust, respect, and mutual support.

Types you might recognize include:

• Controlling relationships (e.g., isolating you from friends/family)
• Emotionally volatile “love‑bombing” followed by withdrawal
• Gaslighting—making you question your reality or sanity

Common symptoms or thought patterns:

• “I always feel on edge around them.”
• “Maybe I’m overreacting… am I too sensitive?”
• Persistent self-blame or blaming yourself for the other’s bad behavior.

3. The Deeper Problem: Why It Feels So Hard to Break

Subconsciously, our brains seek familiarity—even if that familiarity causes pain. That emotional attachment forms a trauma bond—a cycle where affection and hurt alternate, making separation feel nearly impossible.

Coping patterns like over-responsibility (“If I just try harder…”) and minimization (“It wasn’t that bad…”) keep the cycle alive. I hear your frustration: wanting freedom but fearing change, feeling exhausted but trapped. That tension is valid—and deeply human.

4. How NLP Counselling Helps

NLP (Neuro‑Linguistic Programming) is a structured, goal-oriented approach that examines how language, thought, and behavior interconnect—working consciously and unconsciously to shape our experiences

Key techniques useful for toxic relationships include:

• Reframing: Change how you interpret painful situations to shift your emotional response
• Anchoring: Create triggers (like a word or gesture) that bring you to calmness or self-confidence when you feel overwhelmed
• Timeline Therapy: Release emotional baggage linked to past relationships, giving you the emotional reset needed to move forward
• Modeling (including mirroring/rapport): Internalize healthier relational patterns as demonstrated by supportive models
• Why NLP can be especially helpful:

• It often delivers fast, significant shifts—many clients notice positive change within just a few sessions
• It works deep at the subconscious level, helping reprogram unhelpful beliefs about relationships and self-worth

5. Real‑Life Results

Before NLP: “A felt unworthy, constantly apologizing for setting boundaries.”
After NLP: With timeline work and anchoring, A now confidently says “no” when needed—and truly believes they deserve respect.

6. What to Expect in a Session

NLP counselling sessions are compassionate and change-driven, not just talk therapy. In a typical session:

• You’ll share your experience in a confidential, non-judgmental space.
• The counsellor builds rapport (often using mirroring/matching techniques).
• Together, you’ll define what healthier feels like—and use targeted techniques (like reframing or anchoring) to shift how you feel or react.
• You leave with new, practical tools—not just self-awareness, but real emotional resource anchors.

www.vrnlp.com

 

Overcoming Performance Anxiety in 2026

If you find yourself battling a racing heart or a "blank" mind before a big moment, then what you experience is performance anxiety.

You are not alone. It is a universal experience that can affect anyone from elite people to commoners.

Research continues to show that this "fight-or-flight" response is not a lack of talent, but a survival mechanism triggered by perceived social threats or limiting beliefs.

Children don’t have performance anxiety. This is a learned experience for adults.

use these evidence-based strategies to regain control and perform at your peak.

1. Reframe Anxiety as Excitement

One of the most effective psychological shifts is "physiological reappraisal." Since anxiety and excitement share the same physical markers—racing pulse and heightened alertness—try telling yourself, "I am excited" rather than "I am calm". Studies show that this "opportunity mindset" significantly improves performance compared to trying to force relaxation. When you acknowledge the current state of mind your organism take control to normalize.

2. Practice Controlled Breathing

Deep breathing is a direct dial to your nervous system. Techniques like Box Breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) engage the parasympathetic nervous system to lower your heart rate and signal to your brain that you are safe. Use this right before you step on stage or into a meeting or just begore any performance.

3. Master Your "True North"

Anxiety often stems from a fear of judgment. To combat this, shift your focus away from yourself and onto your purpose. Ask, "What value am I providing to the context?". By centering on your message rather than your image, you unfreeze the brain's stress response and foster a genuine connection with your environment.

4. Play the INNER GAME

Tennis coach Timothy Gallway calls this mental rehearsal as INNER GAME. Your brain often cannot distinguish between a real event and a vivid imagination. Spend 5–10 minutes daily visualizing yourself executing your task perfectly, from the venue’s lights to the feeling of confidence in your voice. This builds "mental familiarity," making the actual event feel like a second nature rather than a threat.

5. Tactical Preparation and Lifestyle

Confidence is built on the foundation of thorough preparation:

• Simulate Pressure: Practice in "mock" environments, such as in front of friends or while recording yourself, to build resilience.
• Limit Stimulants: Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar on performance days, as they mimic and amplify anxiety symptoms like tremors and heart palpitations.
• Establish a Routine: Develop a pre-performance ritual—like light stretching or a specific warm-up—to signal to your body that it is ready to perform.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anxiety becomes debilitating or causes you to avoid opportunities, professional interventions can help. Evidence-based treatments for 2026 include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and reframe the irrational thoughts fueling your fear.
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Teaches you to accept nervous feelings as they arise while staying committed to the task at hand.
• Medical Consultation: In some cases, healthcare providers may suggest beta-blockers like Propranolol to manage physical symptoms like shakiness without affecting mental clarity.

For personalized guidance, consider calling me for support. Ring or ping 9840706451

www.vrnlp.com

I am happy to share the summary of another book that touched me deeply. This book helped me to reconnect with me. The book restored my self esteem. Today I can authentically say I am authentic.

Reclaiming the Real You: How to Find Your Authentic Self

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Who is actually looking back at me?” In his transformative book Self Matters, Dr. Phil McGraw suggests that most of us are living as a "Fictional Self"—a version of ourselves constructed to please parents, fit into social circles, or survive difficult times. But underneath that mask is your Authentic Self: the person you were created to be before life took its toll.

If you feel like you're living your life on the sidelines or settling for "good enough," it’s time to look at the three pillars that built your current self-concept.

1. The 10 Defining Moments

Your life isn't just a series of random events; it is shaped by specific moments that changed your trajectory forever. These could be triumphs (like winning a scholarship) or traumas (like a painful rejection).

• The Problem: We often attach "labels" to ourselves based on these moments (e.g., "I’m not good enough" or "I have to be perfect to be loved"). we take our behavior in a context as our personality and suffocate.
• The Shift: To find your authentic self, you must identify these moments and re-examine the conclusions you drew from them. You can reframe the context and find an empowering learning for way forward.

2. The 7 Critical Choices

You are where you are today because of the choices you’ve made—and the ones you allowed others to make for you.

• The "Payoff" Principle: Dr. Phil argues that we stay in unhappy situations because they provide a "hidden payoff," like the safety of the status quo or the avoidance of conflict. NLP calls it positive intention behind the so called negative behavior
• The Shift: Acknowledge your role in your current circumstances. The same power you used to make past choices can be used to make new, authentic ones.

3. The 5 Pivotal People

We are heavily influenced by our "internal circle." These are the five people—parents, teachers, or even bullies—who had the greatest impact on your self-worth.

• The "Internal Dialogue": Their voices often become the "tape player" in our heads, telling us what we can and cannot do.
• The Shift: Identify whose voice is actually running your life. If it isn’t yours, it’s time to change the script.

The Path to Authenticity

Reclaiming your life isn't about changing who you are; it's about removing what isn't you. It requires a "Test of Congruency"—checking if your external actions align with your internal values.

When you live authentically, you stop living by "brute force" and start living by design. Everything becomes lighter because you are no longer exhausted by the effort of pretending.

you are in this world to live your life and not simply as dictated by others.

If you want to lead an authentic life you can avail my professional support, ring or ping +919840706451

 

 

You can create an exceptional life

I am sharing my understanding from the book that touched me deeply. I keep rereading the book as & when life context warrants a relief from struggle and suffocation. I turn positive and proactive immediately.

The book is You Can Create An Exceptional Life by Louise Hay with Cheryl Richardson.

The book is in the conversational style and easy to read and relate with your life

How to Build an Exceptional Life: Lessons from Louise Hay

We often wait for "the right time" to start feeling happy. We tell ourselves we’ll be at peace once the bills are paid, the house is clean, or the perfect job lands in our lap.

But in the transformative book You Can Create an Exceptional Life, Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson remind us of a profound truth: Your life doesn’t change from the outside in; it changes from the inside out. If you’re ready to stop reacting to life and start creating it, here are three foundational pillars from their collaboration to help you begin today.

1. Master Your "Morning Medicine"

How you start your day is a blueprint for how the rest of your hours will unfold. Louise Hay was a firm believer in the power of the first hour. Instead of reaching for your phone and absorbing the world’s stress, try "Morning Medicine":

• Gratitude before your feet hit the floor: Simply say "Thank you" for your bed, your breath, and the new day.
• Mirror Work: Look yourself in the eyes in the bathroom mirror and say, "I love you. I really, really love you." It feels awkward at first, but it’s a powerful tool for rebuilding self-worth.

2. Treat Your Thoughts Like Seeds

One of the book's core metaphors is that our mind is like a garden. Every thought you think is a seed you are planting. If you plant "I’m not good enough" or "Everything always goes wrong," you shouldn't be surprised when your life feels like a patch of weeds.

To create an exceptional life, you must become a conscious gardener:

• Catch the "Inner Critic": When you notice a negative thought, don't judge yourself. Just say, "Thank you for sharing, but that’s no longer true."
• Replace with Affirmations: An affirmation isn't "faking it"—it’s a conscious choice to focus on what you want to grow. Instead of "I’m broke," try "I am open and receptive to new avenues of income."

3. Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom

Louise and Cheryl discuss how our physical health is often a reflection of our emotional state. If you are experiencing "dis-ease," your body might be trying to tell you something about a pattern of thought you’ve been holding onto.

Creating an exceptional life means honoring your "temple." This involves:

• Feeding yourself with love: Choosing foods that make you feel vibrant.
• Releasing resentment: Louise often taught that "The bridge to health is forgiveness." Holding onto old anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

 

The Bottom Line

An "exceptional" life isn't one without challenges. It’s a life where you have the tools to handle those challenges with grace, self-love, and the knowledge that you are the architect of your own experience.

As Louise would say: "Life loves you, and so do I."

You can reach out to me if you want customized affirmation for your career, life, relationship, health enhancement I will customize for you.  Ring or ping 9840706451

V Ranganathan
Coach, Healer, Author Trainer

https://vrnlp.com

 

NLP Certification course with NFNLP Florida USA