NLP through stories -story 60

"How shall I rid myself of fear ?"

"How can you rid yourself of something you are clinging to?"

"you mean I cling to fears ? I cannot agree to that" 

"Consider what your fear protects you from and you will agree. And you will see your folly"

Learning


People may complain of difficulties and seek for counseling for relief.
Yet on careful study it becomes easy to understand that such feelings of difficulties people hold on to in order to get protected from some other perceived problem.
For example people often say of headache due to tension. if one carefully studies their pattern it is easy to find that they want the headache to prevail so that they can use it as a pretext to avoid any work stretch.
Sometimes  such difficulties are a pretext to avoid perceived difficulties.
NLP says "EVERY BEHAVIOR HAS A POSITIVE INTENTION"

For example
Every criticism conceals a want 
Every anger conceals an expectation
Every fear conceals a seeking for safety
Every frustration conceals a seeking of relief
Every cry conceals a desire of being cared for


Once this intention is acknowledged then we can find alternate to this behavior which is not wanted,

NLP says separate the intention from behavior and fulfill the intention in more appropriate ways, 
www.vrnlp.com 

NLP through stories _ story 59

A man was hurt in one leg in a fight with his wife

So he was admitted to a hospital with a bandage on one leg

The man saw another in patient with bandage on both the legs.

He asked that man, “Do you have 2 wives?”

Learning 

People make their model of the world based on their experience  and inference. 

It is not the event but the perception of the event becomes the reality.  

We don't deal with real reality but perceived reality .

Also Language is an expression of belief 

www.vrnlp.com 

NLP through stories - story 58

A fish peddler woman was caught in rain and so took shelter at the veranda of a house.

The rain did not seem to subside. So the fisher woman thought of taking a nap for some time and closed her eyes. But she could not sleep peacefully because of the smell from the house. The smell was very disturbing. 

It was the house of a flower vendor and the fragrance of flowers was very irritating for the woman; 

finally she took her fish basket nearby and in the smell of fish she could get her sleep and relaxed well.

Learning

It is conditioned response from the fish vendor.

While people in general may prefer the fragrance of flowers to fish smell 

the vendor feels at home with the smell of fish.

NLP calls this as ANCHORING,(conditioning)

Anchor is any stimulus that elicits a particular response.

Anchors form unconsciously.

NLP teaches how to anchor consciously for desired response and also collapsing unwanted response.

www.vrnlp.com 

NLP through stories - story 57

Rupee note in all its pride said to the coin,
“I keep rolling in the hands of celebrities;
high valued commodities are bought with my power”

The coin said,
“I am saved in the piggy bank of dear children;
I am preserved in temples ;
I am very much satisfied with what I am” 

Learning:

Everyone has intrinsic merit and worth. 

Self worth is not determined by net worth.

Each is useful in some specific context.

NLP says we are all unique in our ways     

No need to compare; no need to compete.

We must respect the individual model of the world.

Appropriateness of anything must be evaluated in the context of the happening and not based on a generalized comparison

Appreciate your uniqueness; 

Self appreciation s the best appreciation.

www.vrnlp.com 

NLP through stories - story 56

A philosopher who had only one pair of shoes asked the cobbler to repair them while he would wait.

The cobbler said,’ it is closing time and please come tomorrow to take deliver “

The philosopher said, “I have only this pair of shoes; I can’t walk bare foot.”

“I can lend you another pair of shoes till then” said the cobbler

“What? Wearing someone’s shoes? What do you take me for?” asked the philosopher in an intemperate tone.

The cobbler replied sarcastically, “you don’t hesitate to carry other people’s ideas in your head; why object to wearing someone’s shoe on your feet?’’

Moral :

It is very important to have hands on experience to gain expertise, especially when facing real life which does not follow a set script you need to be alive to the situation and respond appropriately. This can happen if you proceed out of real life experience.

NLP asks you to go by your inner guidance system as evidenced by your senses. 

Authenticity comes by experience.   

www.vrnlp.com

NLP through stories - story 55

A man is walking down the beach and comes across a sealed bottle.  

He picks it up and pulls out the cork. Out pops a genie and says that it can grant 3 wishes. 

The man asks for 1 billion dollar in Swiss bank & gets it

“I want a red Ferrari” – in no time he gets it.

He continues, “I want to be irresistible to women”

POOF!! He turns into a box of chocolates

Moral :

When we communicate we must be specific about what we want or ask. 

If not we leave room for people to derive their meaning. 

The intended meaning becomes a variant to derived meaning.

In fact meaning of communication is based upon the recipient.

Hence communicator has to take responsibility for the outcome of communication by seeking feedback from the respondent. 

www.vrnlp.com 

NLP through stories - story 54

A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery. 

He takes his boat out to the middle of the lake, moors it there, closes his eyes and begins his meditation. After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels the bump of another boat colliding with his own. With his eyes still closed, he senses his anger rising, and by the time he opens his eyes, he is ready to scream at the boatman who dared to disturb his meditation. But when he opens his eyes, he sees it’s an empty boat that had probably got untethered and floated to the middle of the lake. At that moment, the monk achieves self-realization, and understands that the anger is within him; it merely needs the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him. From then on, whenever he comes across someone who irritates him or provokes him to anger, he reminds himself, “The other person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me.”

Moral
Nothing inherently has meaning except the meaning we give to it;

The response is based on the conditioning; stimulus is only an opportunity to study our pattern of behavior.

On many occasions when we lose our cool we blame our circumstance;
so long as we blame we are at the mercy of circumstance. 

Between stimulus and response if we have choices then we can make intelligent response.

Self responsibility is the prudent way to gain self mastery 

NLP can help those who are willing to take responsibility for change

www.vrnlp.com