I am happy to share the summary of another book that touched me deeply. This book helped me to reconnect with me. The book restored my self esteem. Today I can authentically say I am authentic.

Reclaiming the Real You: How to Find Your Authentic Self

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Who is actually looking back at me?” In his transformative book Self Matters, Dr. Phil McGraw suggests that most of us are living as a "Fictional Self"—a version of ourselves constructed to please parents, fit into social circles, or survive difficult times. But underneath that mask is your Authentic Self: the person you were created to be before life took its toll.

If you feel like you're living your life on the sidelines or settling for "good enough," it’s time to look at the three pillars that built your current self-concept.

1. The 10 Defining Moments

Your life isn't just a series of random events; it is shaped by specific moments that changed your trajectory forever. These could be triumphs (like winning a scholarship) or traumas (like a painful rejection).

• The Problem: We often attach "labels" to ourselves based on these moments (e.g., "I’m not good enough" or "I have to be perfect to be loved"). we take our behavior in a context as our personality and suffocate.
• The Shift: To find your authentic self, you must identify these moments and re-examine the conclusions you drew from them. You can reframe the context and find an empowering learning for way forward.

2. The 7 Critical Choices

You are where you are today because of the choices you’ve made—and the ones you allowed others to make for you.

• The "Payoff" Principle: Dr. Phil argues that we stay in unhappy situations because they provide a "hidden payoff," like the safety of the status quo or the avoidance of conflict. NLP calls it positive intention behind the so called negative behavior
• The Shift: Acknowledge your role in your current circumstances. The same power you used to make past choices can be used to make new, authentic ones.

3. The 5 Pivotal People

We are heavily influenced by our "internal circle." These are the five people—parents, teachers, or even bullies—who had the greatest impact on your self-worth.

• The "Internal Dialogue": Their voices often become the "tape player" in our heads, telling us what we can and cannot do.
• The Shift: Identify whose voice is actually running your life. If it isn’t yours, it’s time to change the script.

The Path to Authenticity

Reclaiming your life isn't about changing who you are; it's about removing what isn't you. It requires a "Test of Congruency"—checking if your external actions align with your internal values.

When you live authentically, you stop living by "brute force" and start living by design. Everything becomes lighter because you are no longer exhausted by the effort of pretending.

you are in this world to live your life and not simply as dictated by others.

If you want to lead an authentic life you can avail my professional support, ring or ping +919840706451

 

 

You can create an exceptional life

I am sharing my understanding from the book that touched me deeply. I keep rereading the book as & when life context warrants a relief from struggle and suffocation. I turn positive and proactive immediately.

The book is You Can Create An Exceptional Life by Louise Hay with Cheryl Richardson.

The book is in the conversational style and easy to read and relate with your life

How to Build an Exceptional Life: Lessons from Louise Hay

We often wait for "the right time" to start feeling happy. We tell ourselves we’ll be at peace once the bills are paid, the house is clean, or the perfect job lands in our lap.

But in the transformative book You Can Create an Exceptional Life, Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson remind us of a profound truth: Your life doesn’t change from the outside in; it changes from the inside out. If you’re ready to stop reacting to life and start creating it, here are three foundational pillars from their collaboration to help you begin today.

1. Master Your "Morning Medicine"

How you start your day is a blueprint for how the rest of your hours will unfold. Louise Hay was a firm believer in the power of the first hour. Instead of reaching for your phone and absorbing the world’s stress, try "Morning Medicine":

• Gratitude before your feet hit the floor: Simply say "Thank you" for your bed, your breath, and the new day.
• Mirror Work: Look yourself in the eyes in the bathroom mirror and say, "I love you. I really, really love you." It feels awkward at first, but it’s a powerful tool for rebuilding self-worth.

2. Treat Your Thoughts Like Seeds

One of the book's core metaphors is that our mind is like a garden. Every thought you think is a seed you are planting. If you plant "I’m not good enough" or "Everything always goes wrong," you shouldn't be surprised when your life feels like a patch of weeds.

To create an exceptional life, you must become a conscious gardener:

• Catch the "Inner Critic": When you notice a negative thought, don't judge yourself. Just say, "Thank you for sharing, but that’s no longer true."
• Replace with Affirmations: An affirmation isn't "faking it"—it’s a conscious choice to focus on what you want to grow. Instead of "I’m broke," try "I am open and receptive to new avenues of income."

3. Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom

Louise and Cheryl discuss how our physical health is often a reflection of our emotional state. If you are experiencing "dis-ease," your body might be trying to tell you something about a pattern of thought you’ve been holding onto.

Creating an exceptional life means honoring your "temple." This involves:

• Feeding yourself with love: Choosing foods that make you feel vibrant.
• Releasing resentment: Louise often taught that "The bridge to health is forgiveness." Holding onto old anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

 

The Bottom Line

An "exceptional" life isn't one without challenges. It’s a life where you have the tools to handle those challenges with grace, self-love, and the knowledge that you are the architect of your own experience.

As Louise would say: "Life loves you, and so do I."

You can reach out to me if you want customized affirmation for your career, life, relationship, health enhancement I will customize for you.  Ring or ping 9840706451

V Ranganathan
Coach, Healer, Author Trainer

https://vrnlp.com

 

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Louse hay Have a beautiful world around you