I am happy to share the summary of another book that touched me deeply. This book helped me to reconnect with me. The book restored my self esteem. Today I can authentically say I am authentic.

Reclaiming the Real You: How to Find Your Authentic Self

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Who is actually looking back at me?” In his transformative book Self Matters, Dr. Phil McGraw suggests that most of us are living as a "Fictional Self"—a version of ourselves constructed to please parents, fit into social circles, or survive difficult times. But underneath that mask is your Authentic Self: the person you were created to be before life took its toll.

If you feel like you're living your life on the sidelines or settling for "good enough," it’s time to look at the three pillars that built your current self-concept.

1. The 10 Defining Moments

Your life isn't just a series of random events; it is shaped by specific moments that changed your trajectory forever. These could be triumphs (like winning a scholarship) or traumas (like a painful rejection).

• The Problem: We often attach "labels" to ourselves based on these moments (e.g., "I’m not good enough" or "I have to be perfect to be loved"). we take our behavior in a context as our personality and suffocate.
• The Shift: To find your authentic self, you must identify these moments and re-examine the conclusions you drew from them. You can reframe the context and find an empowering learning for way forward.

2. The 7 Critical Choices

You are where you are today because of the choices you’ve made—and the ones you allowed others to make for you.

• The "Payoff" Principle: Dr. Phil argues that we stay in unhappy situations because they provide a "hidden payoff," like the safety of the status quo or the avoidance of conflict. NLP calls it positive intention behind the so called negative behavior
• The Shift: Acknowledge your role in your current circumstances. The same power you used to make past choices can be used to make new, authentic ones.

3. The 5 Pivotal People

We are heavily influenced by our "internal circle." These are the five people—parents, teachers, or even bullies—who had the greatest impact on your self-worth.

• The "Internal Dialogue": Their voices often become the "tape player" in our heads, telling us what we can and cannot do.
• The Shift: Identify whose voice is actually running your life. If it isn’t yours, it’s time to change the script.

The Path to Authenticity

Reclaiming your life isn't about changing who you are; it's about removing what isn't you. It requires a "Test of Congruency"—checking if your external actions align with your internal values.

When you live authentically, you stop living by "brute force" and start living by design. Everything becomes lighter because you are no longer exhausted by the effort of pretending.

you are in this world to live your life and not simply as dictated by others.

If you want to lead an authentic life you can avail my professional support, ring or ping +919840706451