? Pain seems to motivate better

Why the fear of pain motivates people better than seeking  fulfillment?

Why fear has more power than fascination?

Human biological system is programmed towards 'safety'; anything that seems to endanger safety man quickly reacts. Hence FEAR OF PAIN means losing something; 

fear of losing what one values significantly.
Man does not want to lose;
so he gets stressed to take action.. 

  Such 'motivation' is based on distress has its side effects like English medicine.

If one is habituated to taking action only after an external stimulus, then for anything & everything only when there is a push man will take action; 

this is more reactionary; ordinary people do this way.   

So long as we remain this way we become a prisoner of circumstance.

In this state of mind it is task completion that becomes a primary concern than the quality of the task.

Yet fear of pain is more powerful because it is physical.
Seeking fulfillment is more an intellectual calculation than an experience evidenced by senses;
so it does not stimulate so much.

Senses play a vital role in influencing the state of mind;

When knowledge is sensory based it catches our mind and attention easily.

How to make fulfillment more motivating than the negative fear?

NLP says “SIMULATION”

How will that experience be when you get what you want? Imagine and construct the result. Envision the end result.

When you succeed in completing the task & get the desired result-
What will you SEE then?
What will you HEAR then?
How will you FEEL then?

Construct the result and see it as if it is happening right now. 

Simulate inside your head.

Timothy Galway through his book  “INNER GAME of TENNIS” advocates mental rehearsal; according to him mental rehearsal has a very great positive impact on performance than the actual rehearsal.

The author Bruce Lipton says in his book Biology of Belief, ‘ your beliefs act like filters on a camera, changing how you see the world and you biology adapts to those belief”

Hence our brain cannot differentiate between imagined situation & real situation.

Once your experience is sensory based as seeing hearing feeling it becomes certain for you that you are sure to get the result you want.  Now because 'sense of certainty' sets in you embark on action as a matter of fact than a deliberate effort.

This proactive attitude gives enough space for you to be creative appropriate and effective.

SIMULATION gives STIMULATION. 

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NLP through stories - story 61

In keeping with his doctrine that nothing be taken too seriously, not even his own teachings, the Master loved to tell this story on himself:

“My very first disciple was so weak that the exercises killed him. My second disciple drove himself crazy from his earnest practice of the exercises I gave him. My third disciple dulled his intellect through too much contemplation. But the fourth managed to keep his sanity.”

“Why was that?” someone would invariably ask.

“Possibly because he was the only one who refused to do the exercises.” The Master’s words would be drowned in howls of laughter.

Learning  :

Humor is a good tonic to the mind.

Humour removes the tumour in the mind.

Humour brings you here & now

Laughing at oneself also lightens burden and self criticism

NLP advocates to be resourceful and to be resourceful humour is a great facilitator.

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F E A R

Former American president F D Roosevelt said,” Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
Excellent quote; Very wise advice.
Fear is used as acronym.
FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR is Forget Everything And Run
FEAR is Fantasy Eliminating Available Resource  

“The only way to get rid of fear is to take action”
It’s true.
Action cures; action cures all ills.
Yet..
From real life experience you know the issue is ‘getting into action’
When fear rules there is so much work going on inside our head that we get no time to take to action; we are so much overwhelmed by the preoccupation fuelled by fear we hardly have the nerve to navigate to action.
The inevitable statement issued by such people paralyzed by fear is, “ I want to but ……”
This but buttresses whole energy & enthusiasm
This means you need a push to get into action
You are stuck due to factors that seem to be beyond your conscious control.
This means that fear happens in you in spite of your wish to push it.
You are unconsciously compelled to behave in a fearful way.
This mandates another process that can reach to your unconscious depth and set right your thinking process to express confidence, calmness, clarity & boldness.
The fact is a person suffering from fear is conscious of what to do, but not conscious enough how to do.
This HOW is provided by Neuro Linguistic Program which works with unconscious process of a human and helps him to get released from unpleasantness.
Advice is not an antidote to fear.
A new MIND PROGRAM is the antidote.
NLP programs mind for confidence, peace, and success in life.
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Myth about EPS

Myth about EPS skill

EPS is acronym for Effective Public Speaking.

Often the efficacy of effective public speaking skill is overrated.

No doubt all great leaders are powerful communicators. 

Does that mean all popular & great leaders without exception had an impeccable and immaculate oratorical skill? 

Stupid analogy

I wish to share an interesting analogy a trainer for soft skill used in order to convince a group of audience on the need for developing public speaking skill. He called out a volunteer. The volunteer came.

The trainer asked the volunteer, “How would you feel if I keep a bag of 100 bricks on your head?”

Volunteer replied, “very heavy; but still can manage”

Trainer, “what if I keep removing bricks gradually and finally you are left with only one brick on your head?”

Volunteer, “Very light pleasant & easy” (with a conspicuous expression of relief)

Trainer said, “yes.. Same way if you can confidently speak in front of 100 people, you can easily talk to one person”

What would you say on this analogy??

Talking to 100 people and talking to one person- are they same in the process of communication?

Is not public speaking a monologue and a one to one conversation/communication a dialogue?

Are not the intonation & physiology different in both the context?

I say with emphasis that the efficacy of effective public speaking skill is overrated.

In order to be successful in life one need not necessarily have public speaking ability.

What EPS cannot do automatically?

Overcoming the fear of public speaking

-does not automatically make you a ‘fearless person’,

-does not automatically make you shed inhibitions & fear entirely from life

-does not automatically make you a pleasing person

-does not make you a strategic & charismatic leader

- does not make you automatically successful in life

Politicians are great orators. Yet I am sure many would agree their speeches are empty sounds, may be momentarily entertaining.

Does everyone need?

Effective Public speaking skill is needed only for those who have the need for addressing meetings on an ongoing basis as a part of their life activity. 

Yet public speaking is not a needed daily activity for everybody.

When something is not needed why carry with you? Is it not a burden?

Everyone does not need to be an effective public speaker?
It is not necessary to overcome fear only by overcoming the fear of public speaking.

Misnomer

It is a misnomer to say that an effective public speaker is an effective communicator.

Many of such persons fail in one to one conversation;

They mostly fail to pay attention to the respondent;

They have the urge to only impress the respondent with verbal gymnastic or manipulate with word play.

In my observation an effective communicator has a greater degree of empathy & respect for the respondent than a person who is fearless about public speaking.

Everyday communication is to strengthen heart more than to just reach ears

EPS is not the only way

It is being regularly injected into the minds of gullible seekers of self development that EPS is a must for effectiveness in communication.

While overcoming the fear of public speaking may give a person a feel good factor or may give a raise in self esteem and also a sense of accomplishment, it is not a fool proof way to overcome shyness and the only way to raise self confidence.

EPS is not the only way to develop effectiveness in communication.

On the contrary over dependence on EPS is counterproductive to effectiveness in everyday communication.

Learn the skill of public speaking; don’t lean on the effectiveness of public speaking alone.

Art of Effective Private Speaking

On any given day we all spend more time in private conversation/communication than group communication.

This one to one communication makes or breaks our day, our relationship and in the process our life

Is not clear from this that we need to develop the art of private speaking?

You, as a reader of this article, start appreciating this view.

Effectiveness in everyday communication is more important than effectiveness in public communication on an occasional event.

Let’s make this world a beautiful place to live by developing responsible communication skill.

Develop the ART OF PRIVATE SPEAKING skill.                          

“An empathetic ear is more effective in communication than an eloquent mouth”

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